Right as this photo was snapped of me on the set of Creepy KOFY Movie Time, I had a sudden 80’s flashback to another TV Hollywood Horror movie show, hosted by none other than the “gal who put the boob back in boob tube,” Elvira Mistress of the Dark! Here’s to the vampy tramp who was the 1st to introduce me to camp, kitsch, parody, double entendres & most importantly black polyester plunging neck lines, I salute you Elvira! –Cruelly Yours, Herman

Well, actually just adjusting the mic. (But “fondling myself”  is better attention grabbing headline, no?).

I shot a TvLand commercial today for “She’s Got the Look 3: The Modeling Competition for Women over 35″. (No, I ain’t a contestant….do I look over 35 to you?!) . Don’t get too excited for me, I was just filmed wiping down a stove with Pledge. I’m certain it was plain as day to everyone there I didn’t know the 1st thing about housework.  I can’t cook nor can I clean….which probably explains why no one wants to marry me.

Oh, last year I ran into Bahia Haifi, 3rd place winner from Season 1,  at The Little Door Restaurant. She had such a sultry deep voice…I was seething with jealousy. I suppose if I hadn’t quit smoking cigarettes, I’d sound like that too.

You can catch me on-air  on KOFY TV Channel 20 Cable 13.

Jan 18 Monday -  Jan 22 Friday.  1pm-5pm

Jan 25 Monday 1-5pm

Jan 26 Tuesday 8am-11am

Jan 27 Thursday – Jan 28 Friday  1-5pm

Let them know how you feel about me! Compliments, complaints or rotten tomatos, I’ll take anything!

After the disappointment from my prior blog post, I began to peruse the net for any more images of me as “Lu the Prodigy” from Jade Empire, you know, to boost my battered self-esteem….and clutch my pearls, look what I stumbled across! (go to 2:30 if you wanna skip the foreplay)

I am somewhat ashamed to admit but despite having a video game character made from my face & image, I have never ever played Jade Empire. (Bioware even gave me a free copy which is collecting dust on a shelf) I have nothing against video games, but frankly the last video game I played was probably Super Mario Bros circa 1990, 2000. If someone had informed me I could get manhandled on screen like this, I would have become a ga(y)mer years ago! PS: what else can he do to me?

UPDATE 1: I guess this really isn’t that rare in the gamer world. An old high school friend sent me this NY Times article. Merci Albert!

UPDATE 2: The above clip is LuLu the Prodigy & here is the straight version of Lu the Prodigy.

One of my modeling career highlights was when video game company BioWare created  a video game character after my likeness &  image (Lu from Jade Empire).

 To be eternally immortalized and played by every fanboy around the world was quite flattering. BioWare flew in a photographer from Canada to shoot me for their designers at the Private Apartment at the Clift Hotel in San Francisco. Sporting not much more than a speedo, I was put on a rotating pedastal & photographed from every possible angle.  The final rendition  was indeed quite  life-like & I was pleased. (Actually more like relieved that they didn’t make me into Chun Li from Street Fighter!)

So, when Bioware approached me for another game character for their new game Mass Effect 2, how could I say no?  This time they flew me out to Los Angeles for the shoot. That was a while ago, so I haven’t really thought much of it…until recently when I saw street ads plastered around.

   Apparently, Mass Effects 2 is about to hit the market so w/ much anticipation I log onto the Mass Effect 2 site to see me.  Well, either I ended up on the editing floor or,  by process of elimination, the only character that could even be related/inspired by me is this reptilian bald Thane.  Maybe he has my lips, cheekbones, jawline?  Oh, who am I kidding! They dumped me! On the bright side, at least I know what would happen if I mated with a Martian….

Great news! It turns out I was a hit with the viewers over the holidays & KOFY TV has informed me I will be hosting for the next several weeks! I will be on-air five times week.  A big wet “MUAH” for everyone’s support! I really appreciate it!

Here are some pix of me on the set, reviewing the scripts, inserting my one line zingers. Wasn’t it Bill Cosby who said “Always rehearse your improvisations”?

Remember my prior post about Stand Up 2 Cancer? There are a series of PSA’s directed by Jesse Dylan featuring Renee Zellweger, Monica, Rob Lowe, Billy Bob Thornton, Michael Strahan, Minka Kelly, Mandy Moore, Robin Tunney and more. I’m in the last group shot in all the clips (just marginally, bottom right corner….ok, ok it’s the back of my head), but the one where you can actually see my face is at the start of the above clip with Sofia Vassilieva (of TV show Medium fame).